November 6, 2025
Croissant vs. crumpet wars
The English language doesn't exist – it's just French that's badly pronounced
English is ‘badly pronounced French’? Internet erupts with jokes and pride
TLDR: A French linguist claims English is basically French with a Norman accent, but commenters clap back that English grammar is strongly Germanic. The thread mixes jokes, memes, and nerdy debate, with extra drama over his “désesperanto” rant and AI translation dream — it’s culture, identity, and language bragging rights in one fight.
A French linguist just tossed a croissant into the hornet’s nest: Bernard Cerquiglini’s new book claims English doesn’t really exist — it’s just French with a Norman accent. He points to pairs like guerre/war and marché/market, and even blasts global “airport English” as désesperanto. Cue baguettes vs. scones discourse: the community lit up arguing whether English is a French spin-off or a Germanic backbone with a French wardrobe. The strongest pushback? Folks insist English grammar is solidly Germanic, with French influence mostly in fancy vocabulary.
The thread swings from scholarly to chaotic. One commenter dropped a tongue-twister flight announcement daring anyone to say it in French, while another compared the whole stunt to The Onion’s “I bet I can speak Spanish” bit. There’s even a shout to this Instagram guy reading French labels in Canada, adding meme energy. Some users admit Norman French left deep marks, others say the basics — the short words and grammar — are pure Germanic. Cerquiglini’s dream of ditching global English for AI-powered native-language chats? That sparked “cute but unrealistic” snark, plus jokes about French execs pronouncing “Challenges” with an English ch. Verdict from the crowd: English might wear a French beret, but it walks like a Viking
Key Points
- •Bernard Cerquiglini’s essay argues English is essentially French pronounced with a Norman accent.
- •He claims about half of English vocabulary derives from Latin, French, and Norman sources, versus less than a third from Germanic.
- •Examples of Norman-influenced pairs include guerre/war, jardin/garden, coussin/cushion, marché/market, and bouteilleur/butler.
- •Historical evidence cited includes the prominence of Norman dialect in 12th‑century French texts and the downplaying of Norman influence by scholars.
- •The article concludes English grammar is largely Germanic, and English is not a dialect of French; Cerquiglini critiques global “airport English” and favors AI translation.