November 25, 2025
Death went viral before Wi‑Fi
Dumb Ways to Die: Printed Ephemera
From penny death lists to ‘teeth’ terror, the comments went wild
TLDR: London’s Bills of Mortality were weekly penny papers cataloging deaths with shockingly specific causes, a grim proto-data project. Commenters mixed gallows humor with debate over historical suicide versus today and called for century-spanning graphs—ending with gratitude for modern medicine’s lifesaving progress.
A cheerful earworm (“Dumb Ways to Die”) sent readers down a very dark rabbit hole: London’s centuries-old Bills of Mortality—weekly death lists sold for a penny. The community didn’t just read; they reacted. Freak_NL zeroed in on the jaw-dropping specificity of causes like “Scalded in a Brewer’s Maſh,” while another entry simply said “suddenly.” Cue nervous laughter. s1mplicissimus cackled at “Dead in the streets” being listed like a disease, dropping a “what a time to be alive :D” that was equal parts meme and shiver.
Then came the hot take war. benterix argued that today’s talk of a depression/suicide epidemic isn’t new, pointing to old categories like “grief” and “hanged themselves” topping the charts. History folks fired back. libraryofbabel slammed the brakes on any golden-age nostalgia, reminding everyone the past was “unmitigated horrors,” with teeth alone claiming terrifying numbers thanks to zero dentistry. Data nerds like plomme wanted to turn it into a mega graph across centuries, citing continuous publication here and dreaming of trend lines from 1527 to 1858. Through the laughter and gasps, one mood dominated: morbid curiosity has always been a business model—and these proto-clickbait death sheets prove it, while the thread ended with a collective “thank you, science” for antibiotics, anesthesia, and actual toothbrushes.
Key Points
- •Bills of Mortality in London began around 1530 and became weekly by the late 16th century.
- •Causes of death were determined by ‘searchers’ and compiled by the Parish Clerks’ Company Hall for publication.
- •Early 17th-century circulation reached 5,000–6,000 weekly; copies sold for a penny, indicating commercial demand.
- •Common listed causes included ‘dropsy’ (edema), dental infections, and consumption (tuberculosis); even in early 20th-century US, TB and pneumonia were leading causes.
- •Child mortality was extremely high in early modern Europe; while most ephemera were lost, bound annuals preserved many bills.