Google kills Gemini Cloud Services (2035)

Dev meltdown as Google yanks Gemini; USB sticks, brain-AI, and Sheets chat chaos

TLDR: Google shut down Gemini Cloud Services and is steering users toward a chat-in-spreadsheets tool, triggering chaotic data exports and snark. Commenters blasted Google’s product churn, joked about brain-implant AI versus workplace rules, and warned: never build your business on tools that might vanish overnight.

Google just unplugged Gemini Cloud Services, and the crowd is in full roast mode, pointing to the ever-growing Killed By Google graveyard. The strongest mood? Betrayal fatigue. One user snapped: after 276 product funerals, building on Google is “asking for bankruptcy,” while another shrugged that 11 years is a century in Google time.

The drama hits peak absurdity around the migration plan: exporting “800TB” of data to FAT32 drives (an old file format capped at 4GB) while offloading centers allegedly use USB 2.0. A Googler claims it’s intentional “data mindfulness”—cue the community’s GDPR lawsuit memes. Meanwhile, the pivot to GCAIMS—Google Chat AI Integrated Messaging for Sheets—has people typing =CHAT("Hello world") to send messages. Make a circular formula? Congrats, you just DDoS’d the chat server. Someone even blamed a regional outage on it.

Hot takes flew: ditch cloud AI and run massive models on your Neural‑Link brain implant, countered by pros reminding us that unions haven’t signed off on the brain‑melt liability clause. Wall Street cheered (stock up 4%), while users joked support is now a Gemini 1.0 bot from 2024. The migration chaos climaxed with teams encoding user data into YouTube Shorts subtitles and flooding feeds with base64 gibberish. Welcome to the clown car of cloud—and yes, an intern just shipped a Gemini update hours before the funeral.

Key Points

  • The article reports that Google has discontinued Gemini Cloud Services.
  • The source cited is killedbygoogle.com.
  • The headline references the year 2035.
  • No details on reasons, timelines, or migration paths are provided in the article.

Hottest takes

"11 years is practically a century in Google time" — optimistic_dev
"If your data doesn't fit in 4GB chunks, does it really spark joy?" — google_pm_throwaway
"You can run Llama-15-Quantum-700B on a standard Neural-Link implant now" — llama_cultist
Made with <3 by @siedrix and @shesho from CDMX. Powered by Forge&Hive.