Humankind's 10 million year love affair with booze might end

Paywall rage, timeline nitpicks, and a wild GBL quip

TLDR: Article says tech could end our age-old drinking habit, but commenters torched the “10 million years” claim and the paywall. The thread turned into archive links, timeline corrections, and one risky GBL joke, with most doubting booze quits the human story anytime soon.

An article claims civilization was built on booze and tech might finally sober us up—but the comments didn’t toast to that. The party started with a paywall faceplant, instantly met by the “archive brigade” dropping archive.is and archive.md links like confetti. Then came the history hawks, pouncing on the headline’s big claim with a collective side-eye: “10 million years? Of humans? Absolutely not.” One user flatly noted humans have only been around for roughly 300,000 years, igniting a pedant-vs-poet brawl over whether “humankind” includes our ancient ancestors or just modern humans.

As the timeline tussle raged, a dark-humor curveball flew in: “We already have GBL,” someone quipped—earning a chorus of yikes and eye-rolls. The tech angle—AI health nudges, zero-proof drinks, fancy wearables, and sober-curious trends—got less attention than the headline’s math, but the split was clear: skeptics mocked the idea that tech can unseat humanity’s favorite social lubricant, while others said Gen Z is already ditching hangovers for wellness. In classic internet fashion, the thread devolved into a three-act drama: paywall hacks, fact-check theater, and one chaotic chemistry joke. Whether alcohol’s reign is ending? The comments suggest the only thing getting cut off anytime soon is exaggerated headlines.

Key Points

  • The article claims alcohol has been integral to the building of civilization.
  • It suggests technology may lead to reduced alcohol consumption in the future.
  • It describes the sensory onset of alcohol via beverages like champagne, beer, and wine.
  • Alcohol begins absorption through the mouth’s thin membranes immediately after drinking.
  • On an empty stomach, alcohol enters the bloodstream within minutes and reaches most body tissues.

Hottest takes

"humanity hasn't existed for anywhere close to 10M years" — iLoveOncall
"We already have GBL" — zoklet-enjoyer
"Humans have only been here around 300,000 years" — donohoe
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