January 4, 2026
Spinny loaders, zero bars
During Helene, I Just Wanted a Plain Text Website
When the power’s out, nobody wants a slideshow
TLDR: After Helene knocked out power and cell networks, heavy, media-filled sites failed while simple text updates worked best. Commenters split between blocking scripts and trackers, sharing text-only links, pitching offline tools, and calling out hypocrisy—reminding everyone that speed and simplicity can be the difference in getting help.
The day after Hurricane Helene wiped out power and cell service in Western North Carolina, emergency websites did the worst possible thing: they choked. Interactive maps froze, pages looped, and a sad pop‑up whined about an “API” (a data pipe) failing. The author’s best info? A plain, daily email with a bulleted list of food, shelter, and road updates. The comments erupted with a single vibe: less is lifesaving. Readers dropped links to text‑only lifesavers like lite.cnn.com, text.npr.org, and the minimalist weather at wttr.in.
Then came the hot takes. One camp declared, “kill the bloat,” preaching a JavaScript‑free web and browser add‑ons that block trackers and autoplay junk, so pages actually load when bars are low. Another posted the cult classic motherfuckingwebsite.com for laughs, a meme‑y reminder to keep it simple. The drama peaked when a commenter snapped, “Rich from a site that loads 4 trackers,” calling out hypocrisy and sparking a practice‑what‑you‑preach pile‑on. Survivalists chimed in with off‑grid options like Reticulum and Nomadnet—tools for sharing updates without the regular internet. The crowd’s bottom line: when disaster hits, flashy slideshows and mega‑PDF menus don’t help; clear text does.
Key Points
- •Hurricane Helene caused power outages and damaged cell towers in Western North Carolina, severely limiting mobile internet access.
- •Government and emergency websites often failed under low bandwidth, with slow interactive elements and API errors obstructing critical information.
- •Heavy media and confusing navigation on emergency sites further impeded access to essential updates.
- •A simple, text-based daily email from a local state representative provided the most effective, reliable information during the outage.
- •The article advocates prioritizing fast, minimal, text-first web design, reducing bloat (e.g., large PDFs, excessive plugins), and testing performance early.