January 10, 2026
Paint, power, and Tudor thirst
Varnish and Virtue
A German painter 'invented' the Tudors and the internet is feuding about it
TLDR: Elizabeth Goldring's Holbein bio says a German painter shaped how we picture the Tudors, and commenters are split between 'genius artist' and 'royal PR.' Memes about 'LinkedIn headshots' vs 'eyes as receipts' show why this matters: images make power feel real, then and now.
Hans Holbein, the German artist behind those iconic Henry VIII portraits, just got a star turn in Elizabeth Goldring’s biography, reviewed in Literary Review. And the comment section? Absolute spectacle. History nerds and art lovers are brawling (politely) over whether Holbein was a soul-reading genius or a royal spin doctor with a very steady hand.
One camp swears Holbein’s faces feel alive—“you can see the politics in the pupils”—and cheers Goldring for spotlighting his overlooked gigs: book art, jewelry designs, even party sets for court festivities. Others clap back that these portraits were Tudor PR, designed to make Henry look like a god and Thomas Cromwell like a boss. The Reformation backstory—church art dried up, so Holbein hustled to England—sparked the juiciest fight: artist surviving the times versus sellout chasing crowns.
Cue the memes: Holbein as “the original LinkedIn headshot guy,” Henry VIII labeled “Photoshop before Photoshop,” and Cromwell dubbed “Canva with a conscience.” A proudly British thread mock-fumed that “a German made Britain’s most British image,” only to get ratioed by folks celebrating immigrant talent. The overall vibe? Goldring’s book makes Holbein feel modern—power, branding, vibes—and the crowd can’t decide if that’s art, advertising, or the most Renaissance answer ever: both.
Key Points
- •Elizabeth Goldring’s biography argues Holbein’s portraits powerfully shaped the Tudor image and appeared strikingly novel to contemporaries.
- •Holbein’s work extended beyond portraits to book illustrations, window schemes, court festivity sets, and extensive metalwork designs.
- •He began with altarpieces in Basel, but the Protestant Reformation reduced demand for devotional art, prompting a move to England in 1526.
- •Holbein received a commission for a painting of Henry VIII’s triumph over France for the Banqueting House at Greenwich, marking early involvement in Tudor power projection.
- •After Basel’s iconoclasm, Holbein returned to England in 1532, aligned with Thomas Cromwell, and by 1538 was a salaried painter to the king; Goldring infers conservative religious sympathies despite limited personal records.