January 28, 2026
When Kant met comment section
Immanuel 'the Königsberg clock' Kant (2015)
Philosopher Kant Dragged Online For “Never Leaving Town” — Internet Fact‑Checkers And Toilet Humor Unite
TLDR: A piece calling Immanuel Kant a lifelong shut‑in sparked commenters to fact‑check his one big 60‑mile trip and compare him to other stay‑at‑home geniuses. The thread then gleefully downgraded high philosophy to poop jokes, claiming Kant’s constipation and Nietzsche’s vomiting perfectly fit their worldviews.
Immanuel Kant, the famously strict German philosopher nicknamed “the Königsberg clock,” just got posthumously ratioed by history nerds. An article painted him as the ultimate homebody who “never once went beyond the city limits”… and the comments section immediately turned into a philosophy-themed roast session.
One user swooped in like a Wikipedia-powered superhero to yell “Slander!”, pointing out that Kant did leave town at least once, traveling a wild 60 miles to a nearby village. The drama: can you still call him a shut‑in if he walked farther than most people’s weekly step count? Another commenter changed the vibe completely, comparing Kant to Italian writer Emilio Salgari, who wrote epic pirate and cowboy adventures without ever leaving his own city. The crowd loved the theme: world-famous minds, zero frequent flyer miles.
But the peak of the thread was pure bathroom humor dressed up as deep thought. The article casually mentions Kant was constipated while fellow philosopher Nietzsche suffered from constant vomiting. One commenter insisted this perfectly matches their personalities and philosophies, and the crowd ran with it. Suddenly, the greatest minds of Western thought were being explained using… digestive issues. High culture, meet low blow — and the internet wouldn’t have it any other way.
Key Points
- •Immanuel Kant lived and died in Königsberg, maintaining strict daily routines that earned him the moniker “the Königsberg clock.”
- •Kant formed views of the wider world through dockside walks and discussions with Scottish merchants and tradesmen.
- •Kant and Nietzsche both prioritized walking and diet, but differed: Nietzsche walked long distances and ate sparingly; Kant favored brief walks and had a good appetite.
- •Kant believed disciplined lifestyle and dietetic medicine prolonged life; he suffered from constipation and was meticulous about order and change.
- •Late in life, Kant claimed an airborne electrical fluid harmed his health and coincided with cat deaths in Basle; the article references reflections by Frederic Gros and a Müller–Kluge conversation suggesting a less puritanical image.