An Illustrated Guide to Hippo Castration

Of all the headlines today, An Illustrated Guide to Hippo Castration had the internet blinking “???” and clicking anyway. Vets used ultrasound to locate a hippo’s hidden, internal testes, nudged them into position, and snipped—reporting a 10-for-10 success rate (one tragic postsurgery loss) in a veterinary journal. Thanks to hippos’ freaky-fast healing and antibacterial “red sweat” goo, most were back in their communal pools within hours, calmer and less combative. Cue the comment circus. One camp is here for the writing: users cheered the opener—“Few things in this world are as elusive as a hippopotamus testicle”—calling it a masterpiece and joking that vets basically played “hide-and-seek” with hippo parts using ultrasound. Another camp slammed the ethics: “Animal cruelty is immoral,” snapped one commenter, arguing that convenience for zoos shouldn’t trump an animal’s bodily autonomy. A third thread went full reality check: hippos are not cuddly; a travel tale reminded everyone they’re among the most dangerous animals to humans, so population control and fewer male fights might protect both animals and people. Also, a meta squad popped in just to shout (2014) and chaos-emoji the timeline. Science, drama, and the internet—what a combo. Read the study here.