February 11, 2026
Stakeholders bite back
Why Vampires Live Forever
HN sinks its teeth in: Tech’s vampire joke sparks science vs. satire
TLDR: A playful essay claims longevity obsessives are basically vampires, citing “young blood” experiments and cheeky billionaire lore. HN loved the humor and memes, but several users pivoted to real science—pointing at mouse rejuvenation studies—setting up a fun clash between satire and evidence on a topic with real-world health stakes.
A tongue-in-cheek essay claims the longevity crowd is basically a vampire disclosure program, citing 19th‑century mouse blood‑sharing experiments called parabiosis and a 2005 Stanford study that found “young blood” rejuvenated older mice. It even name‑checks high‑profile biohackers, spinning plasma swaps and New Zealand hideaways into gothic lore. The community? They showed up with garlic—and giggles.
The top vibe is delight. “Now this is the content I come to Hacker News for,” cheers one reader, while another simply applauds the “very entertaining writing style.” The comment everyone kept quoting: “Appears to not age but also to never have been young”—a roast so sharp you could stake a vampire with it. Then comes the nerd comedy: one poster deadpans that the real proof of vampires would be investors with “inhumanly long time horizons” and a suspicious love of real estate—yes, a Dracula-by-way-of-Wall-Street bit, complete with a Stoker (1897) nod.
But it’s not all cape and candlelight. A sober contingent tries to ground the hype, pointing to actual research like LEVF’s “Robust Mouse Rejuvenation” projects (RMR1 and RMR2) and urging less myth, more mice. The result is a perfect HN cocktail: half memes, half methods—where plasma jokes, billionaire lore, and real studies all battle for the last drop of credibility.
Key Points
- •The article reviews parabiosis research: 1864 experiments by Paul Bert, 1950s Cornell studies showing extended rat lifespan, and 2005 Stanford work reporting rejuvenated tissues in old mice joined to young mice.
- •Media coverage of the 2005 studies was framed as evidence that “young blood” could reverse aging in animals, with no human efficacy claims presented.
- •Peter Thiel is cited as expressing personal interest in parabiosis; the article says his company’s CMO contacted Ambrosia, and notes an unconfirmed Gawker report about costly blood infusions.
- •The article lists Thiel’s background details (Palantir co-founder, funding litigation that bankrupted Gawker, New Zealand property, and a 2012 statement to Business Insider that death is a solvable problem).
- •Bryan Johnson publicly conducted and then discontinued a “multi-generational plasma exchange” with his son after reporting no benefits; he documents health metrics via his Blueprint brand.