February 13, 2026
Find My Friends or Lose My Chill
Friendship Maintenance
Is sharing your location love, loyalty, or low‑key creepy
TLDR: A heartfelt ode to “friendship maintenance” sparked a split: fans call rituals and even location sharing a warm way to stay close, skeptics call it creepy and exhausting. The thread devolved into class, time, and burnout debates—proving everyone wants community, but no one agrees on the playbook.
The internet just turned a tender essay on keeping friendships alive into a comment‑section cage match. The author gushes about trips, rituals, and even using Find My to peek at pals’ whereabouts (“Huh, why is Brendan in Norway?”). Cue two loud camps: Team Cozy says this is real intimacy and “love with receipts,” while Team Creeped Out calls it “friend‑veillance” and swears they’re not turning their squad into a live‑tracking map. The line “friend group is a tottering structure” became a rallying cry—and a meme—while tortoise jokes (“manifesting 58‑year‑old tortoise composure”) crawled all over the thread.
Drama didn’t stop at location sharing. Some cheered the “love takes maintenance” gospel—brunch rituals, one‑on‑one time, tiny gifts—while others dragged it as friendship turned full‑time job. Parents and burnt‑out workers snapped back: “Set calendars if you must, but don’t guilt us.” A class‑war subthread erupted over Park Slope apartments and gift guides, with skeptics rolling eyes at “friendship that requires travel budgets.” Meanwhile, pragmatic romantics offered hacks: standing‑date dinners, 10‑minute voice notes, “micro‑rituals” that cost nothing. The consensus? Everyone craves deeper bonds—but the how is pure chaos. Is friendship maintenance sweet effort or scheduling cosplay? Depends if your group chat feels like a hug… or HR.
Key Points
- •The author traveled to New York for a friend’s documentary series premiere and stayed with friends in Park Slope.
- •Friend groups are dynamic and affected by life events like relationships, jobs, and travel (e.g., trips to Japan, possible moves to Europe).
- •Maintaining friendships involves both intentional actions (trips, rituals, gifts, one-on-one time) and accepting natural ebb and flow.
- •Security in friendship develops over time through consistent maintenance, with different friendships functioning in different styles.
- •The author has adopted location sharing (e.g., Find My) for coordination and connection, finding it useful and enjoyable.