February 21, 2026
Hang in there, Agent!
Personal Statement of a CIA Analyst
Polygraph fails, tears flow, and commenters roast the lie detector
TLDR: A CIA applicant’s failed lie detector story exposed how these tests work and sparked a pile-on: critics call them junk and power plays, jokers mock “crying spies.” The debate asks whether hiring measures honesty or just nerves—crucial when careers and security clearances are on the line.
A CIA applicant’s raw account of failing a lie detector — purple hand, pushy “have you lied to your boss?” grilling, and a bus ride with a sobbing candidate — lit up AntiPolygraph.org. The comments didn’t hold back. One top voice slammed polygraphs as unfalsifiable witchcraft: once an examiner decides you’re gaming the test, there’s no way to prove you aren’t. Another self-described former national security insider dropped a bomb, calling the whole thing a control ritual that “weeds out the dipsh—, exerts power, and selects sociopaths,” not truth-tellers.
The thread ping-ponged between outrage and dark comedy. People joked about a CIA crying room with “Hang in there!” posters, while others fixated on the absurdity of getting failed over saying you were “fine” during a cancer scare. A few roll their eyes — “I kept expecting something to happen and it never did,” sighed one — and the timestamp police chimed in with a curt “(2018)” reminder. But the loudest chorus says the real test isn’t honesty; it’s who can stay calm under pressure. In other words: high-stakes job interview meets carnival machine. If the Agency’s hiring hinges on this, commenters warn, it may be screening for nerves, not integrity.
Key Points
- •A CIA analyst describes undergoing a CIA applicant polygraph in 2018 while already holding CIA TS/SCI clearances as a defense contractor.
- •She prepared by reading David T. Lykken’s A Tremor in the Blood to understand control vs. relevant questions and countermeasures, intending to be truthful.
- •Screening occurred over two days in Northern Virginia, with transport to a building in Vienna; she signed consent and was told not to discuss the test.
- •During the exam, the examiner highlighted the question “Have you ever lied to your boss?” leading the author to cite a social “white lie”; she subsequently failed and was told to return the next day.
- •Afterward, she observed other applicants’ distress and opted to stay in, while others went to Tysons Corner mall; the account ends there.