February 24, 2026
Diamond hands vs debit plans
Stripe valued at $159B, 2025 annual letter
$159B Stripe flex: internet yells “IPO now,” rich clubs whisper “stay private”
TLDR: Stripe is valued at $159B in a tender offer letting employees cash out, while processing $1.9T and pushing into AI-driven payments. The crowd is split between “IPO now!” and complaints about private-market gatekeeping, with skeptics questioning the valuation and devs asking why open source doesn’t share the spoils.
Stripe just dropped a $159B tender offer so employees can cash out, bragged about $1.9 trillion flowing through its pipes (about 1.6% of global GDP), and teased AI money movers and digital dollars on Stripe. But the community instantly turned this into a showdown: “Why aren’t they public yet?” one camp demands, picturing confetti and ticker symbols. Another camp fires back that private markets are where the real winnings happen, accusing an accredited investor system of gatekeeping ordinary folks from the upside. Cue a third faction: “Actually, you can jump in via syndicates,” arguing that backdoor deals exist — just with shady fees and murky ownership.
Then came the spicy comparison: “How is Stripe 5x bigger than Adyen?” asked skeptics, poking holes in the valuation vibes and demanding receipts beyond glossy growth charts. Techies chimed in with a heart-on-sleeve plea: open source creators deserve a cut, wondering why the people who keep the internet running don’t see more of the money when platforms rake in trillions. Memes flew: “IPO when?” chants, “diamond hands vs debit cards,” and the Collison quip about the “long tail” becoming “most of the dog” turned into actual dog GIFs. It’s profits, power, and a who-gets-to-play debate — with Stripe sitting atop the checkout throne and commenters fighting over the velvet rope.
Key Points
- •Stripe launched a tender offer valuing the company at $159B to provide liquidity for current and former employees, with funding from Thrive Capital, Coatue, a16z, and others, plus a Stripe share repurchase.
- •Businesses on Stripe processed $1.9T in 2025 volume, up 34% year-over-year, about 1.6% of global GDP.
- •Stripe’s Revenue suite (Billing, Invoicing, Tax) is on track to reach a $1B annual run rate in 2025.
- •The company reports serving over 5 million businesses and powering companies representing 90% of the DJIA and 80% of the Nasdaq 100, while remaining profitable and shipping 350+ product updates last year.
- •The 2025 cohort of new Stripe businesses grew ~50% faster than 2024; 57% were based outside the US, and Atlas startups monetized faster, with 20% charging within 30 days.