April 30, 2026
An apple a day prints billions
Apple reports second quarter results
Apple made a jaw-dropping pile of cash and the comments instantly got messy
TLDR: Apple posted a huge quarter, with $111.2 billion in sales and record iPhone and Services revenue, showing the company is still a money machine. Commenters were split between amazement at Apple’s comeback story and suspicion about how much of that growth comes from subscriptions, fees, and Google-related deals.
Apple just dropped a monster quarter: revenue hit $111.2 billion, iPhone sales set a March record, Services hit a new all-time high, and the company is handing shareholders a bigger dividend while also approving a $100 billion stock buyback. In normal human terms: Apple sold an absurd amount of stuff, made even more from subscriptions and extras, and is now flexing like the richest kid in school.
But the real show was in the comments, where the mood swung wildly between awe, suspicion, and spreadsheet cosplay. One longtime watcher had the internet doing a double take by reminding everyone this is the same Apple that once looked shaky in the 1990s under Gil Amelio. That sparked the classic "from near-disaster to money-printing empire" nostalgia wave. Then came the side-eye: several commenters zeroed in on Services, Apple’s fast-growing bucket of app fees, subscriptions, warranties, and search money, with one person openly wondering whether Google is quietly helping fuel the party even more than people realize.
And because no Apple thread is complete without some future-casting, another hot take predicted the company will keep slicing its lineup into more price tiers — basically budget for the masses, Ultra for the flexers — so it can pull even more people into its ecosystem. Meanwhile, one brave soul posted an AI-assisted breakdown of Apple’s profit margins and practically begged to get roasted. Reader, that is the kind of humble chaos the community lives for.
Key Points
- •Apple reported fiscal 2026 second quarter revenue of $111.2 billion, up 17% year over year.
- •Diluted earnings per share was $2.01, up 22% year over year.
- •Apple said the March quarter set records for total company revenue, iPhone revenue, and EPS, while Services revenue reached a new all-time high.
- •The company generated more than $28 billion in operating cash flow and said its installed base of active devices reached a new all-time high across major product categories and geographic segments.
- •Apple increased its cash dividend to $0.27 per share, authorized an additional $100 billion in share repurchases, and scheduled a live webcast of its earnings call for April 30, 2026.