July 30, 2026
Last orders for London’s pub fight
I timed 7,194 journeys to find London's most equidistant pub
London found its fairest pub — and locals instantly argued it’s in the worst place possible
TLDR: After timing thousands of journeys, one London pub near Euston was crowned the fairest meeting spot, but none can get everyone there within an hour. The comments instantly stole the show, with people roasting the area, nitpicking the wording, and campaigning for their favorite pubs.
A data-loving Londoner timed 7,194 public transport trips to 3,170 pubs to answer the ultimate group-chat question: where should everyone meet so nobody can complain too much? The shock winner was The Greene Man near Great Portland Street. Even wilder: not a single pub in London can get all 33 boroughs there within an hour. The first places that manage it only appear at 70 minutes — and there are just two of them, practically next door to each other.
But the comments quickly turned this from a neat map-and-maths story into a full-on pub civil war. The creator coolly admitted the numbers had no taste: the winning pub is a Greene King, while another top spot is a Wetherspoon, which immediately gave the whole thing chaotic energy. One commenter swerved from statistics into nostalgia, demanding to know where The Faltering Fullback had gone, only for the creator to pop back in like a proud local and reveal it was included — it just wasn’t elite enough to make the big table. Ouch.
The spiciest reaction, though, was pure Londoner doom: one reader declared the top-ranked pubs are all clustered in “one of the most miserable parts of London”, saying too long there makes them feel “noticeably depressed.” Another commenter launched a mini language-police raid, insisting this isn’t about “equidistant” at all but “equitemporal.” So yes, London finally found the fairest pub — and the crowd responded by arguing about geography, vibes, semantics, and Thai food in an Irish pub. As they should.
Key Points
- •The article names The Greene Man on Euston Road as London’s most equidistant pub by public-transport travel time across all 33 boroughs.
- •The winning pub has a 70-minute worst-case journey time and a 47-minute spread between the nearest and furthest boroughs.
- •No pub among the 3,170 tested is reachable within 60 minutes from all 33 boroughs, and none qualifies even at 65 minutes.
- •The first pubs reachable from every borough appear at 70 minutes, and there are exactly two of them: The Greene Man and The Albany.
- •The published analysis covers 3,170 pubs and 7,194 TfL journeys, and ranks pubs by worst-case travel time and then by journey-time spread.