August 1, 2026
Crude Awakening
Oil companies report sky-high profits thanks to wartime crude prices
Drivers groan as oil giants cash in and commenters demand answers
TLDR: Chevron, Shell, and ExxonMobil made enormous profits as war-driven oil prices surged, with the three averaging $404 million a day. Commenters were split between rage over politics and taxes, cynicism about investors winning again, and smug jokes that electric car owners are having the last laugh.
Big Oil just posted a blockbuster season, and the comment section reacted like it had been handed a gas bill and a microphone. Chevron reported its biggest quarter ever, Shell had its second-best, and ExxonMobil still managed to double last year’s earnings even while missing Wall Street’s wishlist. Altogether, the three companies averaged an eye-watering $404 million a day in profit as conflict in the Middle East helped drive crude prices higher and squeeze global supply.
But the real fireworks were below the article. One camp was openly fuming, with commenters asking why nobody is shouting louder about a windfall profits tax while families pay more at the pump. Another went full doom-scroll, blaming both political leaders and corporate bosses in one sweeping rant. And then there was the dry, meme-ready sarcasm: “Hooray for their investors, I guess.” Ouch.
Not everyone was shocked, though. One reader dropped a history-check reminder that oil was above $100 a barrel before 2008, basically saying, let’s not act like this is brand-new chaos. Meanwhile, the accidental comedy MVP of the thread was the person bragging that a friend who bought two electric cars is now feeling very, very happy — the ultimate “laughing from the charging station” flex. The mood? Equal parts anger, resignation, and smug EV energy.
Key Points
- •Chevron reported its highest quarterly earnings ever, while Shell posted its second-highest quarterly profit.
- •ExxonMobil’s earnings roughly doubled from the same period last year, despite missing Wall Street expectations.
- •Chevron, Shell, and ExxonMobil together averaged about $404 million in profits per day over the last three months.
- •The article attributes the profit surge to higher crude prices and refining margins tied to conflict-related disruption.
- •The war with Iran has effectively shuttered the Strait of Hormuz, and NPR cites Kpler data showing only five ships transited the strait on Thursday.